The Complete Gower Street Detective by M.R.C. Kasasian

Author:M.R.C. Kasasian [Kasasian, M.R.C.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781788543880
Publisher: Head of Zeus Ltd.

92

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A Moment Later

CONSTABLE ARBUCKLE GRUNTED. His blue coat indented under the pressure of my blow, as did his extensive waistline.

He swore and folded towards me.

I: I am glad Miss Middleton is not here to witness such language.

Arbuckle clutched himself around the dagger and gasped: Lord, Mr Grice, what d’you do that for?

[He took three short sharp breaths.]

I: To save my goddaughter’s life.

[Arbuckle expelled those breaths in one exhalation and staggered two steps to his left. I pulled the dagger away and held it up for him to see.]

He: Oh God, the blade has snapped off inside me.

I: I completely understand why you made that remark but let me counter it with a simple question. How much blood do you think is inside you?

[Arbuckle rearranged his features unattractively and clutched himself tighter.]

He: I don’t know. About five gallons.

[He tottered forwards, gasping, and put out one hand to steady himself against a box marked in red ink EMPTY.]

I: It is unlikely to be much more than twenty per cent of that. And how much of it has exited your adipose body in the last three minutes?

Arbuckle patted himself and said eloquently: Oh. He considered the incident and asked: So where is the blade then?

By way of reply I shook the handle down and the knife telescoped to its full length. Arbuckle let go of himself and straightened up warily as if still expecting his intestines to become what Molly once described, on coming across a squashed common newt, as out-testines.

He: So it is a trick knife.

I: You catch on quickly.

[He grimaced at this compliment. I raised the dagger to shoulder height and brought it down into the desk where it made a gouge in the woodwork.]

He: But it didn’t go in that time.

I: This raised nodule is a button which, if depressed by one’s thumb, releases an internal catch. [I slid the blade inside with the palm of my hand.] The tip is rounded to avoid accidentally puncturing oneself, but the sides are well honed. We have all seen them used in stage acts where the showman will slice something, often an apple, to demonstrate the knife’s sharpness.

[I chopped a corner from the other half of his sandwich to illustrate the point.]

But instead of thanking me Arbuckle merely said: Oy.

[That made him sound Jewish, though I knew him to be a Calvinist Catholic. I put the knife down.]

I: When you presented me with the weapon, however, the blade had been soldered.

He: Blimey.

[He picked the dagger up and fiddled, successfully retracting and extracting the blade.]

I: Do not attempt that trick on me. The mechanism is faulty and could easily stick.

Arbuckle gazed at me, doubtless thinking what I fine fellow I was.

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